Moose Almighty

Last week Zoom, the discount airline, went bust. They blamed high oil costs and the credit crunch. They didn’t, of course, blame the fact that they were so desperate to undercut the ‘big boys’ that the prices they charged their customers were simply not enough to cover their costs. I may be doing their management a great injustice, but isn’t it nice to have the ‘credit crunch’ to blame.
‘In debt, it’s the credit crunch’. It’s not because you have spent £1000’s more than have been paid, and chucked it all on your credit card at 2000% interest.
‘Alastair Darling is an arse’. Oh, hang on, he’s not - it’s just the credit crunch!
‘Chelsea failed to beat Tottenham’. It’s that bloody credit crunch.
‘My house has devalued by 10% in the last year meaning I have only made a 200% profit in 12 years’ Bloody credit crunch!!!
‘I am fat, my children are misbehaving and kids are being stabbed in the streets’. Guess what, it’s that dam crunch thing again.
Everywhere you look in Britain today the ‘blame game’ is going on.
The best one to come up recently is that, apparently scientists have found a gene that is passed on by your obese parents, which means that you too will be fat. It has nothing to do with your addiction to lard kebabs with extra lard sauce and your complete lack of exercise. It’s the fault of nature.
You’re out of work - it’s the crappy governments fault, not yours.
No one ever takes responsibility for themselves or their mistakes it always the fault of someone else, and if this continues we will never learn and if we never learn we will never better ourselves.
By the way if you disagree with any of this - don’t blame me!

‘Harriet Harman, the Equality Minister, defended plans to encourage firms to discriminate in favour of female and ethnic minorities job candidates.’
Just read that line again. Concentrate on the words ‘equality’ and ‘discriminate’. I don’t even know if it’s worth me having a rant over this one. Is this woman a moron?
Any form of discrimination should be abhorrent, but apparently if you are anything over than a white man you are going to get a leg up from Harriet (better than a leg over). After all, you couldn’t get a job on your own could you?
It’s a good job Labour are so far ahead in the polls that they can alienate white men. The BNP must have their printing presses working overtime informing people how ethnic minorities will get work over white people.
The fact is that dear deluded Harriet probably has her heart in the right place, but as usual (for a politician) has not really thought this through. Her argument is that, should you have two equal candidates for a job and you can’t decide between them, you should choose the black bloke or the woman. I am not sure who would win if you have both the black man and the woman. If she was to ask someone who has actually worked in the real world, she would find out there are never equal candidates. Two people can have the same qualifications, the same experience, the same age, the same everything, but you will eventually go down to who will fit in with your existing team the best or who is the more likeable. There will always be one person who has that little bit more to offer in terms of personality.
This is nothing short of degrading to ethnic minorities and woman because Harriet Harman is basically saying you are incapable of getting of a job in the world of bigoted, racist and sexist employers.
As a final insult I see nothing about positive discrimination for your lovable Moose.

That was the headline, the other day, when the HSBC reported a fall in half yearly profits. It sounds bad and the usual suspects are on TV and in the papers telling us how the credit crunch is getting worse. Oh my God! This is Europe’s largest bank and even they can’t survive, what will become of us. Images of money men hurling themselves out of windows comes to mind.
Then you read a bit further and realise the bank made £5.2 billion in the first six months of the year. The people in charge must be shitting themselves. How can they survive, what can they do? Over five billion quid in six months and this is a bad thing, yeh right.
They lend money to people who can’t afford the repayments, they make huge losses in North America, they run crappy little branches with queues to the next town and zero customer service (apologies to the people of Bombay) and they still make huge profits.
This is not doom and gloom. The headline should read ‘Crappy business makes huge profits - hope for us ALL’.

It still needs a bit of work, but Moosetube is alive.

I would very much welcome any feedback, just leave a comment here.

Just a quick post to say sorry I haven’t been around. I have changed to a new hosting company and have had a few problems with my sites. They are just about resolved and I shall be posting a lot more in the future.

I have changed hosting companies so I will be in a better position to produce a more comprehensive moostube site - details to follow in the next few weeks. The World According to Moose will also be moving to a new domain name - again, details to follow.

Watch this space!

I had a knock on my door the other day and discovered the ‘creationists’ were in town. I was presented with a story book titled the Bible and informed that the Earth was about 5000 years old and the story of Genesis was undeniably true because it was the word of God.

Ever since I had a Mormon bloke come round, a few years ago, introducing himself as ‘Elder Berry’ (I found it funny but he didn’t), I have always liked to have a bit of harmless fun with these people. Now please don’t get wrong if you have a belief and/or a faith, that is your right and I will fight for you to have that right, but, please, don’t expect me to welcome those beliefs when I was having such a peaceful morning in the sun. I simply asked if ‘Adam had a belly button?’ She was puzzled but said she presumed so. I then explained that he must have been born rather than created, you know, the umbilical cord and all that. I also asked how a whole race of billions of humans could have derived from just one couple. Apparently the Bible doesn’t explain everything and I must have faith.

My faith was restored when she buggered off!

Since this episode I have been searching for the answer to life, the universe and everything (I know it’s 42) and have at last found something worthy of my belief and faith. I have become a ‘Pastafarian’ and now worship ‘The Flying Spaghetti Monster’. It would appear that it is He who created the world and I am now glad I have been touched by his noodly appendage.

For more information please visit The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and for God’s sake please keep an open mind and accept the site for what it is.